[oh. i do that all the damn time, i just assume it only happens to me because i'm stupid. THIS TAG IS SO FUNNY.
Actually, Essek laughs. It seems to surprise even him, and it's short and quiet, but a laugh nonetheless.]
You leave me hanging on a hamster. [Okay!!!!] A snow fort? No. Rosohna doesn't really get snow. Eiselcross was a blistering wasteland of ice and snow, but... we weren't exactly there to build snow fortresses.
Trust me, you don't want to know about the hamster. [Instant mood ruiner even though they aren't doing anything but sitting by the fire and having a cozy time.
Predictably, he nods... there's warm nostalgia in his emotions, and his smile is soft as he glances out the window.]
My siblings and I used to build them for our snowball fights. The cold in Snezhnaya never dissipates, so we could carve out entire fortresses behind the house over days without worrying about it melting. You can't stay outside too long because of the snowstorms, but I make--made it a point to at least build them a little snow cave every time I went home. I always pretended it was a secret space for them, though I'd tell my mother after they went to bed if they didn't blurt it out during dinner.
[Just forces Essek to listen to his millionth sibling yap session]
It's not the same, of course, but snowy weather always puts me in a better mood.
[He'll be spared knowledge of the hamster. He sips his cocoa, but watches Childe around his cup.
Why is Childe so full of sentimental things? Just be a normal Abyssal creature who has lost the spark of humanity. It's fine. This reminds him of himself a little actually.
He and Verin didn't build snow fortresses, but Verin did make him do a lot of other catering things, and then it got to a point where he would do them unprompted simply because it sparked joy in Verin.]
He pretends as if he is sipping his cocoa at the right exact moment, only his brows raised in question as he does so. Yes? Do you need something, sir? Cups are very good at concealing things.]
Hm? What would I be implying...? It is only me and my brother, so I don't know what you could mean.
[No. Suffer and die as he has suffered and died. Okay, well, he actually laughs slightly.]
For what it's worth, I spent a great deal of time hiding what I did as Shadowhand from Verin. In fact, I don't think he knows a lot of the bad I did do still.
Edited (vernon is making me laugh so bad) 2025-07-25 15:39 (UTC)
Childe sighs, adjusting his blanket. WHY MUST PEOPLE SEE THIS PARTICULAR MEMORY... there's some warm fondness at Essek's amusement that he can't hide, but whatever. That much was probably obvious from their dinner date anyway.]
That friend you saw kept chiding me about it, but it's only natural, right? I wouldn't change the decisions I've made, but that doesn't mean I want him making the same ones.
[And if that means embarrassing himself in front of his troops... well, that's a price he'll gladly pay.
He glances over, curious--but carefully so.]
If you win your fight, are you going to go back and see him?
[Sweet Verin, please continue to simply be a himbo and not anything like your brother.
The question makes his amusement fade slightly. He glances away toward the fire, feeling a scribble of all kind of emotions about it. Nothing negative so much as just... sad perhaps.]
I don't know. I don't think I can ever go back to the Dynasty. I may be able to meet him in secret, of course. Or in disguise. But as I am?
No, they would take me in for questioning and interrogation, and if they ever find I was truly behind such a thing... I won't ever step foot outside the Dungeon of Penance again.
[It is sad... Childe's home situation is--awkward, at best, and he can't see them anymore now that he's DEAD, but that's not the same as being a true enemy of the state, knowing your loved ones are just out of reach. Even in Liyue, diplomatic immunity stopped Ningguang from tossing Childe in prison for his crimes. His reputation might be terrible, his list of misdeeds terribly long, but he was still free to go where he pleased.
He leans over slightly, letting their arms touch. An anchor.]
Could your friends ask him to meet you somewhere else?
[He glances up, having been Pavlov'd into associating touch with comfort and reassurance.
He leans gently into Childe's arm, but keeps looking ahead, cradling the cup.]
Perhaps, but I would... I wouldn't want to... implicate him in any way when he is the queen's Taskhand and a commander in the military. He is stationed in Bazzoxan, and I can't say what would happen to him if anyone knew he left to meet me when they already suspect the traitor to be someone from the inside. Me.
I don't want him to be hurt or interrogated or stripped of his duties. He worked too hard for them.
[Well, that makes sense. Childe can be ruthless towards displays of softness, and he often is when he feels you ought to be able to handle what you signed up for--but family is different. And especially now, when he's been cut off from his own siblings for a full year, with the faint but lingering pain of a thousand years' of their hatred and condemnation... it's much easier to be sympathetic.]
...I don't like making promises I can't keep, so I won't lie to you and act like I know what will happen. [Essek isn't a child. He doesn't need Childe to tell him pretty, gentle stories.] But if you survive your fight, I hope you get to see him again. Even if it's just to say goodbye properly.
[He manages a small, wry sort of smile when he glances up to look at Childe.]
Thank you.
[It may not seem like much, but it helps. Bolsters him just a little.]
I hope you escape your Hell and are able to see your family again. No... I know you will. I know you will find a way to return, somehow. It isn't like you to give up on that pursuit even if it may not be immediate.
And I know you have the strength to do it, or at least the fortitude to get strong enough to.
[There's... not shyness, exactly, because Childe left that personality trait in the abyss ten years ago, but something small and cautious about the warmth he feels from Essek's faith in him.
Luckily he glances at Essek's face and ruins the vulnerability with a pulse of attraction, because sometimes you are looking at a beautiful elf man in the firelight. He doesn't say anything about it, though, simply sighing as he finishes his cocoa and puts the mug aside.]
Well, it would've been much easier with the items from the case, but... you're right that I don't intend to give up easily. If Alex could bring us all back once, then there's got to be a way.
[He doesn't mind serving her while he's there, but he's got an unfortunate knack for getting out of impossible situations, so a single year definitely isn't enough to make him resign himself to his fate. Maybe a few hundred? Who's to say.]
STOP RUINING THE VULNERABILITY WITH HORNY. He gets a pass on this one thing this one time only because Essek is, unfortunately, a good looking elf man. Childe may look upon him and feel attraction and confuse the hell out of him about it.
If things had gone differently for them, if he had lived, but still gotten to know Childe... perhaps he would have killed for something in the case for Childe's sake...]
It's alright. Don't worry about those. I know you and Alex would find your own ways. You would find something that worked.
[If Essek had lived and killed to get an item for him from the case then Childe would be madly in love with him by now I fear
BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN so he is just here being so tragically responsible about his weird fixation and his dokis and his STOP IT'S NOT HORNY well I guess it is a little but mostly it's just appreciation. Listen.]
...If I'm honest, I'd like for her to leave her post. Jonas too, really. But I don't think they will, so I'll just have to find a good replacement for her before I get out.
[He has no desire to rule over hell himself, so he has no interest in taking Alex's job. But for all that he doesn't respect her as Satan, he does like her as a friend, and he wants to make sure she's taken care of. He talks a lot about following his own agenda, and he'd never choose staying with her over going home, but that doesn't mean he wants to ditch her without a word.
He doesn't want to dwell on their potentially sad dead futures, though, so he changes the subject.]
Anyway, I thought about taking you to the island with the beach, but I wasn't sure if you'd like it. [Surely by now he's noticed that Essek is light sensitive?? Surely??? If nothing else he can't imagine Essek with sand in his elegant goth clothes]
[Well, I'm sorry to say that he would have done that because his biggest loyalty is doing whatever makes the other person happy even if it might be a little evil. He's evil!!!
Just give Hell to Ryo........ Give Hell's dominion to true Satan.]
You're considerate.
[You like them, Childe. It's okay.]
The beach would have definitely been painfully, but I perhaps could have survived for a little while with some protection.
[An umbrella. Some sunscreen... Sunglasses. Covering clothes. He's a vampire.]
...I like this despite the cold. Because... [He looks away. Embarrassing.] Because it's something important to you.
[HE IS... he is... he may be post-friendshipped, but Childe can sense the evil-alignment resonance. This is why he got weirdly obsessed from the start.
That makes him laugh quietly.]
Not particularly. [He does like them, but he is also... evil... just because he's nicer than Scaramouche doesn't mean he's a good guy.
He's about to make some comment about the beach, but then Essek is being gay and moe and distracting, so whatever annoyingly playful comment he was about to make fades from his mind. Essek isn't the one one who can have complicated emotional squiggles, though they aren't anxious like Essek's are. Even so, they're probably recognizable to him, because... well. When you've chosen to be evil-aligned, you relinquish the idea that people will care for you, and despite how many little displays of affection and indulgence you might be shown, it's surprising every time.
It's gotten just a little easier to trust over the past two months, though. So even though there's that reflexive urge to shy away from the way it warms his chest to hear such a sweet sentiment, he doesn't deflect. Essek's own embarrassment helps a little too, honestly, because if he hadn't looked away, Childe probably would have. Instead he is free to stare for a minute.
Thoughtlessly--]
Can I-- [Wait no. He wanted space. Shakes his head slightly.] --sorry. Never mind. I'm glad you like it, despite the trip up here. [...] Do you want another drink?
Childe could have still made a comment about the beach and ruined and ignored the gay things he was saying. It would have been fine. The feelings make him ever so slowly look up from under his lashes - it is surprising every time; he won't ever understand how the Mighty Nein could have wanted to be his friend - but it's the start and the stop which really lifts his attention.
His brows furrow. He spends a long moment just looking at Childe, debating. The silence is probably a bit awkward, but... he's trying to decide... His eyes flick down, then up again. It's not very many seconds, but so many conversations go through his mind. He feels like a foolish teenager again, thinks he's probably pathetic.]
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Actually, Essek laughs. It seems to surprise even him, and it's short and quiet, but a laugh nonetheless.]
You leave me hanging on a hamster.
[Okay!!!!] A snow fort? No. Rosohna doesn't really get snow. Eiselcross was a blistering wasteland of ice and snow, but... we weren't exactly there to build snow fortresses.
Why? Let me guess, you love them.
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Trust me, you don't want to know about the hamster. [Instant mood ruiner even though they aren't doing anything but sitting by the fire and having a cozy time.
Predictably, he nods... there's warm nostalgia in his emotions, and his smile is soft as he glances out the window.]
My siblings and I used to build them for our snowball fights. The cold in Snezhnaya never dissipates, so we could carve out entire fortresses behind the house over days without worrying about it melting. You can't stay outside too long because of the snowstorms, but I make--made it a point to at least build them a little snow cave every time I went home. I always pretended it was a secret space for them, though I'd tell my mother after they went to bed if they didn't blurt it out during dinner.
[Just forces Essek to listen to his millionth sibling yap session]
It's not the same, of course, but snowy weather always puts me in a better mood.
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Why is Childe so full of sentimental things? Just be a normal Abyssal creature who has lost the spark of humanity. It's fine. This reminds him of himself a little actually.
He and Verin didn't build snow fortresses, but Verin did make him do a lot of other catering things, and then it got to a point where he would do them unprompted simply because it sparked joy in Verin.]
How many siblings do you have?
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Six. Three older, three younger.
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He smiles slightly, small.]
You really do have a large family. And here you are, the middle child of them.
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Looks away from the window and raises an eyebrow.]
Are you implying something? [This is a joke he knows exactly what Essek is implying]
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He pretends as if he is sipping his cocoa at the right exact moment, only his brows raised in question as he does so. Yes? Do you need something, sir? Cups are very good at concealing things.]
Hm? What would I be implying...? It is only me and my brother, so I don't know what you could mean.
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[BLUFFS ABOUT IT]
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Surely you are spoiled being the middle child. Older ones to dote on you and younger ones you can dote on.
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[Immediately gets clowned on by a sudden memshare after saying this.]
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He turns his head away and tries so hard to school his expression. Clears his throat. Tentatively lowers his hand.]
You are quite an exceptional businessman with your toy endeavor.
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I'd hit you if you weren't holding a hot drink.
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For what it's worth, I spent a great deal of time hiding what I did as Shadowhand from Verin. In fact, I don't think he knows a lot of the bad I did do still.
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Childe sighs, adjusting his blanket. WHY MUST PEOPLE SEE THIS PARTICULAR MEMORY... there's some warm fondness at Essek's amusement that he can't hide, but whatever. That much was probably obvious from their dinner date anyway.]
That friend you saw kept chiding me about it, but it's only natural, right? I wouldn't change the decisions I've made, but that doesn't mean I want him making the same ones.
[And if that means embarrassing himself in front of his troops... well, that's a price he'll gladly pay.
He glances over, curious--but carefully so.]
If you win your fight, are you going to go back and see him?
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[Sweet Verin, please continue to simply be a himbo and not anything like your brother.
The question makes his amusement fade slightly. He glances away toward the fire, feeling a scribble of all kind of emotions about it. Nothing negative so much as just... sad perhaps.]
I don't know. I don't think I can ever go back to the Dynasty. I may be able
to meet him in secret, of course. Or in disguise. But as I am?
No, they would take me in for questioning and interrogation, and if they ever find I was truly behind such a thing... I won't ever step foot outside the Dungeon of Penance again.
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He leans over slightly, letting their arms touch. An anchor.]
Could your friends ask him to meet you somewhere else?
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He leans gently into Childe's arm, but keeps looking ahead, cradling the cup.]
Perhaps, but I would... I wouldn't want to... implicate him in any way when he is the queen's Taskhand and a commander in the military. He is stationed in Bazzoxan, and I can't say what would happen to him if anyone knew he left to meet me when they already suspect the traitor to be someone from the inside. Me.
I don't want him to be hurt or interrogated or stripped of his duties. He worked too hard for them.
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...I don't like making promises I can't keep, so I won't lie to you and act like I know what will happen. [Essek isn't a child. He doesn't need Childe to tell him pretty, gentle stories.] But if you survive your fight, I hope you get to see him again. Even if it's just to say goodbye properly.
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Thank you.
[It may not seem like much, but it helps. Bolsters him just a little.]
I hope you escape your Hell and are able to see your family again. No... I know you will. I know you will find a way to return, somehow. It isn't like you to give up on that pursuit even if it may not be immediate.
And I know you have the strength to do it, or at least the fortitude to get strong enough to.
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Luckily he glances at Essek's face and ruins the vulnerability with a pulse of attraction, because sometimes you are looking at a beautiful elf man in the firelight. He doesn't say anything about it, though, simply sighing as he finishes his cocoa and puts the mug aside.]
Well, it would've been much easier with the items from the case, but... you're right that I don't intend to give up easily. If Alex could bring us all back once, then there's got to be a way.
[He doesn't mind serving her while he's there, but he's got an unfortunate knack for getting out of impossible situations, so a single year definitely isn't enough to make him resign himself to his fate. Maybe a few hundred? Who's to say.]
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STOP RUINING THE VULNERABILITY WITH HORNY. He gets a pass on this one thing this one time only because Essek is, unfortunately, a good looking elf man. Childe may look upon him and feel attraction and confuse the hell out of him about it.
If things had gone differently for them, if he had lived, but still gotten to know Childe... perhaps he would have killed for something in the case for Childe's sake...]
It's alright. Don't worry about those. I know you and Alex would find your own ways. You would find something that worked.
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BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN so he is just here being so tragically responsible about his weird fixation and his dokis and his STOP IT'S NOT HORNY well I guess it is a little but mostly it's just appreciation. Listen.]
...If I'm honest, I'd like for her to leave her post. Jonas too, really. But I don't think they will, so I'll just have to find a good replacement for her before I get out.
[He has no desire to rule over hell himself, so he has no interest in taking Alex's job. But for all that he doesn't respect her as Satan, he does like her as a friend, and he wants to make sure she's taken care of. He talks a lot about following his own agenda, and he'd never choose staying with her over going home, but that doesn't mean he wants to ditch her without a word.
He doesn't want to dwell on their potentially sad dead futures, though, so he changes the subject.]
Anyway, I thought about taking you to the island with the beach, but I wasn't sure if you'd like it. [Surely by now he's noticed that Essek is light sensitive?? Surely??? If nothing else he can't imagine Essek with sand in his elegant goth clothes]
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Just give Hell to Ryo........ Give Hell's dominion to true Satan.]
You're considerate.
[You like them, Childe. It's okay.]
The beach would have definitely been painfully, but I perhaps could have survived for a little while with some protection.
[An umbrella. Some sunscreen... Sunglasses. Covering clothes. He's a vampire.]
...I like this despite the cold. Because... [He looks away. Embarrassing.] Because it's something important to you.
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That makes him laugh quietly.]
Not particularly. [He does like them, but he is also... evil... just because he's nicer than Scaramouche doesn't mean he's a good guy.
He's about to make some comment about the beach, but then Essek is being gay and moe and distracting, so whatever annoyingly playful comment he was about to make fades from his mind. Essek isn't the one one who can have complicated emotional squiggles, though they aren't anxious like Essek's are. Even so, they're probably recognizable to him, because... well. When you've chosen to be evil-aligned, you relinquish the idea that people will care for you, and despite how many little displays of affection and indulgence you might be shown, it's surprising every time.
It's gotten just a little easier to trust over the past two months, though. So even though there's that reflexive urge to shy away from the way it warms his chest to hear such a sweet sentiment, he doesn't deflect. Essek's own embarrassment helps a little too, honestly, because if he hadn't looked away, Childe probably would have. Instead he is free to stare for a minute.
Thoughtlessly--]
Can I-- [Wait no. He wanted space. Shakes his head slightly.] --sorry. Never mind. I'm glad you like it, despite the trip up here. [...] Do you want another drink?
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Childe could have still made a comment about the beach and ruined and ignored the gay things he was saying. It would have been fine. The feelings make him ever so slowly look up from under his lashes - it is surprising every time; he won't ever understand how the Mighty Nein could have wanted to be his friend - but it's the start and the stop which really lifts his attention.
His brows furrow. He spends a long moment just looking at Childe, debating. The silence is probably a bit awkward, but... he's trying to decide... His eyes flick down, then up again. It's not very many seconds, but so many conversations go through his mind. He feels like a foolish teenager again, thinks he's probably pathetic.]
...You can.
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