[Honestly they are the perfect height difference for kabedons which would make it very funny. ALSO STOP BEING A TWINK actually no don't stop being a twink, it would be so over if Essek was a physical combatant too. GOD.
ANYWAY, MORE IMPORTANTLY]
A conversation takes two people. [This is not technically accurate, but he doesn't actually know where to begin here. Childe you're never gonna make it as a writer.
Well. Let's start with the most obvious part--] Why did you tell him yes if you aren't interested?
Also, he privately thinks that's an incredibly generous description of what Anders actually did, and it probably shows in his expression, but he behaves himself by not saying that out loud. Instead, he studies Essek for a minute, gaze sharp and intent.
Really, he probably should say no. All he'd intended to do was give Anders a push, assuming Essek would take it or leave it as he wished. Never once did he truly factor himself into the equation; frankly, he's still not entirely sure what possessed him to acknowledge his own interest at all, other than his own chaos-stirring nature. No matter his ambitions, he's still very much dead, after all. And there are much easier options if Essek wants something easy and temporary. Jae-ha is literally right there.
Childe is deeply unhinged in many ways, but he is, weirdly enough, fairly centered with his own emotions. So, after a moment, he shifts his grip, pressing his thumb against the inside of Essek's wrist.]
I need to know what you want. [They're both adults, and Childe isn't shy or hesitant. He hasn't been for a long time.] Be honest with me. Even if you don't know.
[A very audacious thing to say when Childe lies by omission all the time but it's fine]
[He lifts his chin. It's alpha week, he won't be cowed into shrinking back. Not that he'd really shrink back maybe in this regard normally. He doesn't try to pull his arm away.]
I already told you. I would like to see the difference.
[He peers at Childe's face without looking away.]
There is something you must understand about me. Anders is aware of this already. A simple dinner does not mean anything outside of me getting to know you a little better. I am not like others with... romance. It's more comfortable getting to know someone more deeply.
A partnership is a deep, intimate connection. You have to get to that point first, and you have to begin somewhere.
[He's quiet for a minute, taking that in--then he tilts his head slightly]
You say you're not like others, but what you described--isn't that normal?
[Local Youngest Ever Fatui Harbinger full of unfounded confidence, has never had a genuine romantic relationship in his wholeass life. Unless Essek is just saying he doesn't do flings in a demure way, but Childe gets the sense he means something beyond that.
Something in his shoulders relaxes a little nonetheless, though. He's not particularly interested in some convoluted courtship competition--which, now that he's (temporarily) done being startled and confused, was obviously never what this was about, but. Listen. He's stupid.]
[This causes the corners of his lips to ever so slightly lift. Oh, sweet summer Childe.
He carefully tries to retrieve his arm back to himself.]
It's like you've never spoken to Anders at all. [He's teasing.] Not for some. There are so many people who are quick to fall in love and perhaps even quicker to... be intimate with someone else they have recently met.
I have realized attraction for me... is slow to build and not merely physical.
If I tried to remember everything Anders has ever said, I'd have no room left in my mind for anything else. [BE NICE. The way he doesn't even dislike Anders, but he's sure Anders can't stand him and he's just so easy to rile up that Childe can't help it sometimes.
He lets Essek withdraw, though, and crosses his arms loosely instead as he considers. Not quite the same as him, then, but certainly not incomprehensible. It doesn't take much for Childe to know what he might want, but it's rarely on his mind--and actually acting on it? Almost never, for anything that truly mattered.
But... like Essek said, dinner is just dinner. All that's changed is an awareness of... potential, maybe. There's no need for anyone to get ahead of themselves.]
...Alright. As long as he knows, too. [If Anders ever comes to pick a fight with him, Childe wants it to be for something he can actually enjoy, not out some silly perceived betrayal that Childe didn't even know was possible. Frankly, he's kind of halfway expecting that Essek will come back later and take this--request? order???--back, but he does not say that.]
[He gives Childe a look of very mildly admonishment, like an attempt at politeness rather than disagreement. That's fair, even though he gets along with Anders fine.]
I'll tell him after ours is over.
[It'll probably ruin the dinner if he says it before. He will have a hear a rant all dinner. He will probably hear some kind of rant anyway regardless. It's fair, however. For both of them.
[The way these will be two wildly different dates is so fucking funny. ESSEK YOUR TASTES. ESSEK YOUR BOWL!!!! Why did Childe do this. Mysteries of the universe.
But that's good enough for him, so he just nods. And then holds up a finger, looking very solemn, as if this is an incredibly important question.]
[EXCUSE ME? I DID THIS? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THE REAL CULPRIT IS RIGHT HERE.
One brow flicks up for a moment, but his little bit of smirk is sort of knowing.]
What is the plan if I tell Anders about the dinner and he shows up glowing? And don't say fight him. I know you are going to try to fight him probably.
[YOU COULD'VE JUST KILLED HIM AND NOW YOU HAVE TO TOP LEVEL ON THE MINGLE AT CHILLY'S
He pretends to look offended, though there is clear mirth in his eyes.]
Have a little faith in me! I'd be a terrible Harbinger if I couldn't find some privacy for a couple of hours. He won't find us. [Worst comes to worst he will just set up in one of the hotel rooms, maybe toss the beds out so that Essek doesn't get the wrong idea. Which is funny because Childe isn't even that horny.]
Besides, I don't want to fight him until he's got his powers. [OKAY.]
Well, this tracks. All of it. He shakes his head a little, but seems amused nevertheless.]
Of course you do.
[Stop fighting. THE WAY ESSEK ISN'T EVEN MUCH OF A FIGHTER!!! Someone has to be the brains and someone has to be the brawns, I guess.]
Very well, but don't be surprised if he tries. Did you do something to him, by the way? Besides relentlessly tease him, of course. He talks quite often about maiming you...
[NOT THIS EMOTE!!!! And yeah listen he might not be much of a fighter, but his soul is violent... every time he's about to lose points for being a dramatic gay noodle he does something like memshare threatening to stuff someone in a gravity fissure or wipe them from reality or talk about how he was the queen's shadowhand or whatever and it balances out.
Or praise him. Unfortunately Childe likes that too. I hate it here.]
Oh--apparently Alex was the cause of all the problems in the heaven. I don't remember it, but he said I showed up to help her out. So I'm guessing it's got to do with that.
[Listen. He cannot help he was created to be neutral evil and despite getting friendshipped, he still has a lil sliver of evil in his heart for some things.
ALSO STOP HAVING A PRAISE KINK.]
Unsurprising you are helping someone else cause trouble.
[This is such a fucking Childe thing to do, he thinks. But it explains why Anders is so at odds with Childe, even if Childe finds it more amusing than anything. That also tracks.]
[Kidnaps Essek to Teyvat with Ryo and Scara and makes him worse again (no) (unless?)
AND LOOK... I CAN'T HELP HIS KINKS I AM SIMPLY THE SUFFERING MESSENGER. ESSEK IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A SAD WET MAGIC MAN. ESSEK SAVE YOURSELF]
From the way Alex described it, she only called for me to help her after she got caught. [But it's true, he doesn't sound particularly defensive or guilty. It's simple fact: if Alex needs his help, it's his job to come.] I have my own thoughts on the whole thing, but I don't intend to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. So I assume he'll curse me to eternal damnation forever, or whatever it is he likes to do.
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Grabs his wrist and yanks him back. Thank god no one ever taught him how to kabedon]
Don't ignore me.
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He is just a twink, so he is stopped. He glances from his wrist to Childe.]
I'm not ignoring you. The conversation had finished.
[He didn't even let a conversation happen.]
Do you want to reject my offer?
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ANYWAY, MORE IMPORTANTLY]
A conversation takes two people. [This is not technically accurate, but he doesn't actually know where to begin here. Childe you're never gonna make it as a writer.
Well. Let's start with the most obvious part--] Why did you tell him yes if you aren't interested?
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Just because I'm asking you doesn't mean I wasn't interested. I wouldn't have agreed if I wasn't.
I was giving him a chance since he actually had the nerve to ask. But I want to see the difference.
Between dinners.
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Also, he privately thinks that's an incredibly generous description of what Anders actually did, and it probably shows in his expression, but he behaves himself by not saying that out loud. Instead, he studies Essek for a minute, gaze sharp and intent.
Really, he probably should say no. All he'd intended to do was give Anders a push, assuming Essek would take it or leave it as he wished. Never once did he truly factor himself into the equation; frankly, he's still not entirely sure what possessed him to acknowledge his own interest at all, other than his own chaos-stirring nature. No matter his ambitions, he's still very much dead, after all. And there are much easier options if Essek wants something easy and temporary. Jae-ha is literally right there.
Childe is deeply unhinged in many ways, but he is, weirdly enough, fairly centered with his own emotions. So, after a moment, he shifts his grip, pressing his thumb against the inside of Essek's wrist.]
I need to know what you want. [They're both adults, and Childe isn't shy or hesitant. He hasn't been for a long time.] Be honest with me. Even if you don't know.
[A very audacious thing to say when Childe lies by omission all the time but it's fine]
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I already told you. I would like to see the difference.
[He peers at Childe's face without looking away.]
There is something you must understand about me. Anders is aware of this already. A simple dinner does not mean anything outside of me getting to know you a little better. I am not like others with... romance. It's more comfortable getting to know someone more deeply.
A partnership is a deep, intimate connection. You have to get to that point first, and you have to begin somewhere.
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You say you're not like others, but what you described--isn't that normal?
[Local Youngest Ever Fatui Harbinger full of unfounded confidence, has never had a genuine romantic relationship in his wholeass life. Unless Essek is just saying he doesn't do flings in a demure way, but Childe gets the sense he means something beyond that.
Something in his shoulders relaxes a little nonetheless, though. He's not particularly interested in some convoluted courtship competition--which, now that he's (temporarily) done being startled and confused, was obviously never what this was about, but. Listen. He's stupid.]
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He carefully tries to retrieve his arm back to himself.]
It's like you've never spoken to Anders at all. [He's teasing.] Not for some. There are so many people who are quick to fall in love and perhaps even quicker to... be intimate with someone else they have recently met.
I have realized attraction for me... is slow to build and not merely physical.
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If I tried to remember everything Anders has ever said, I'd have no room left in my mind for anything else. [BE NICE. The way he doesn't even dislike Anders, but he's sure Anders can't stand him and he's just so easy to rile up that Childe can't help it sometimes.
He lets Essek withdraw, though, and crosses his arms loosely instead as he considers. Not quite the same as him, then, but certainly not incomprehensible. It doesn't take much for Childe to know what he might want, but it's rarely on his mind--and actually acting on it? Almost never, for anything that truly mattered.
But... like Essek said, dinner is just dinner. All that's changed is an awareness of... potential, maybe. There's no need for anyone to get ahead of themselves.]
...Alright. As long as he knows, too. [If Anders ever comes to pick a fight with him, Childe wants it to be for something he can actually enjoy, not out some silly perceived betrayal that Childe didn't even know was possible. Frankly, he's kind of halfway expecting that Essek will come back later and take this--request? order???--back, but he does not say that.]
And--one more thing.
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I'll tell him after ours is over.
[It'll probably ruin the dinner if he says it before. He will have a hear a rant all dinner. He will probably hear some kind of rant anyway regardless. It's fair, however. For both of them.
He's not sure how Anders will take it.]
Hm...?
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But that's good enough for him, so he just nods. And then holds up a finger, looking very solemn, as if this is an incredibly important question.]
How do you feel about seafood?
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Oh.]
Seafood? I don't mind it. Rosohna would sometimes bring seafood in from the Emerald Gulch.
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He looks pleased, though.]
Okay, good.
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One brow flicks up for a moment, but his little bit of smirk is sort of knowing.]
What is the plan if I tell Anders about the dinner and he shows up glowing? And don't say fight him. I know you are going to try to fight him probably.
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He pretends to look offended, though there is clear mirth in his eyes.]
Have a little faith in me! I'd be a terrible Harbinger if I couldn't find some privacy for a couple of hours. He won't find us. [Worst comes to worst he will just set up in one of the hotel rooms, maybe toss the beds out so that Essek doesn't get the wrong idea. Which is funny because Childe isn't even that horny.]
Besides, I don't want to fight him until he's got his powers. [OKAY.]
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Well, this tracks. All of it. He shakes his head a little, but seems amused nevertheless.]
Of course you do.
[Stop fighting. THE WAY ESSEK ISN'T EVEN MUCH OF A FIGHTER!!! Someone has to be the brains and someone has to be the brawns, I guess.]
Very well, but don't be surprised if he tries. Did you do something to him, by the way? Besides relentlessly tease him, of course. He talks quite often about maiming you...
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Or praise him. Unfortunately Childe likes that too. I hate it here.]
Oh--apparently Alex was the cause of all the problems in the heaven. I don't remember it, but he said I showed up to help her out. So I'm guessing it's got to do with that.
[Said like "eh, fair enough"]
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ALSO STOP HAVING A PRAISE KINK.]
Unsurprising you are helping someone else cause trouble.
[This is such a fucking Childe thing to do, he thinks. But it explains why Anders is so at odds with Childe, even if Childe finds it more amusing than anything. That also tracks.]
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AND LOOK... I CAN'T HELP HIS KINKS I AM SIMPLY THE SUFFERING MESSENGER. ESSEK IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A SAD WET MAGIC MAN. ESSEK SAVE YOURSELF]
From the way Alex described it, she only called for me to help her after she got caught. [But it's true, he doesn't sound particularly defensive or guilty. It's simple fact: if Alex needs his help, it's his job to come.] I have my own thoughts on the whole thing, but I don't intend to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. So I assume he'll curse me to eternal damnation forever, or whatever it is he likes to do.
[Waves a hand dismissively]