[EXCUSE ME? I DID THIS? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THE REAL CULPRIT IS RIGHT HERE.
One brow flicks up for a moment, but his little bit of smirk is sort of knowing.]
What is the plan if I tell Anders about the dinner and he shows up glowing? And don't say fight him. I know you are going to try to fight him probably.
[YOU COULD'VE JUST KILLED HIM AND NOW YOU HAVE TO TOP LEVEL ON THE MINGLE AT CHILLY'S
He pretends to look offended, though there is clear mirth in his eyes.]
Have a little faith in me! I'd be a terrible Harbinger if I couldn't find some privacy for a couple of hours. He won't find us. [Worst comes to worst he will just set up in one of the hotel rooms, maybe toss the beds out so that Essek doesn't get the wrong idea. Which is funny because Childe isn't even that horny.]
Besides, I don't want to fight him until he's got his powers. [OKAY.]
Well, this tracks. All of it. He shakes his head a little, but seems amused nevertheless.]
Of course you do.
[Stop fighting. THE WAY ESSEK ISN'T EVEN MUCH OF A FIGHTER!!! Someone has to be the brains and someone has to be the brawns, I guess.]
Very well, but don't be surprised if he tries. Did you do something to him, by the way? Besides relentlessly tease him, of course. He talks quite often about maiming you...
[NOT THIS EMOTE!!!! And yeah listen he might not be much of a fighter, but his soul is violent... every time he's about to lose points for being a dramatic gay noodle he does something like memshare threatening to stuff someone in a gravity fissure or wipe them from reality or talk about how he was the queen's shadowhand or whatever and it balances out.
Or praise him. Unfortunately Childe likes that too. I hate it here.]
Oh--apparently Alex was the cause of all the problems in the heaven. I don't remember it, but he said I showed up to help her out. So I'm guessing it's got to do with that.
[Listen. He cannot help he was created to be neutral evil and despite getting friendshipped, he still has a lil sliver of evil in his heart for some things.
ALSO STOP HAVING A PRAISE KINK.]
Unsurprising you are helping someone else cause trouble.
[This is such a fucking Childe thing to do, he thinks. But it explains why Anders is so at odds with Childe, even if Childe finds it more amusing than anything. That also tracks.]
[Kidnaps Essek to Teyvat with Ryo and Scara and makes him worse again (no) (unless?)
AND LOOK... I CAN'T HELP HIS KINKS I AM SIMPLY THE SUFFERING MESSENGER. ESSEK IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A SAD WET MAGIC MAN. ESSEK SAVE YOURSELF]
From the way Alex described it, she only called for me to help her after she got caught. [But it's true, he doesn't sound particularly defensive or guilty. It's simple fact: if Alex needs his help, it's his job to come.] I have my own thoughts on the whole thing, but I don't intend to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. So I assume he'll curse me to eternal damnation forever, or whatever it is he likes to do.
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Oh.]
Seafood? I don't mind it. Rosohna would sometimes bring seafood in from the Emerald Gulch.
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He looks pleased, though.]
Okay, good.
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One brow flicks up for a moment, but his little bit of smirk is sort of knowing.]
What is the plan if I tell Anders about the dinner and he shows up glowing? And don't say fight him. I know you are going to try to fight him probably.
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He pretends to look offended, though there is clear mirth in his eyes.]
Have a little faith in me! I'd be a terrible Harbinger if I couldn't find some privacy for a couple of hours. He won't find us. [Worst comes to worst he will just set up in one of the hotel rooms, maybe toss the beds out so that Essek doesn't get the wrong idea. Which is funny because Childe isn't even that horny.]
Besides, I don't want to fight him until he's got his powers. [OKAY.]
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Well, this tracks. All of it. He shakes his head a little, but seems amused nevertheless.]
Of course you do.
[Stop fighting. THE WAY ESSEK ISN'T EVEN MUCH OF A FIGHTER!!! Someone has to be the brains and someone has to be the brawns, I guess.]
Very well, but don't be surprised if he tries. Did you do something to him, by the way? Besides relentlessly tease him, of course. He talks quite often about maiming you...
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Or praise him. Unfortunately Childe likes that too. I hate it here.]
Oh--apparently Alex was the cause of all the problems in the heaven. I don't remember it, but he said I showed up to help her out. So I'm guessing it's got to do with that.
[Said like "eh, fair enough"]
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ALSO STOP HAVING A PRAISE KINK.]
Unsurprising you are helping someone else cause trouble.
[This is such a fucking Childe thing to do, he thinks. But it explains why Anders is so at odds with Childe, even if Childe finds it more amusing than anything. That also tracks.]
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AND LOOK... I CAN'T HELP HIS KINKS I AM SIMPLY THE SUFFERING MESSENGER. ESSEK IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A SAD WET MAGIC MAN. ESSEK SAVE YOURSELF]
From the way Alex described it, she only called for me to help her after she got caught. [But it's true, he doesn't sound particularly defensive or guilty. It's simple fact: if Alex needs his help, it's his job to come.] I have my own thoughts on the whole thing, but I don't intend to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. So I assume he'll curse me to eternal damnation forever, or whatever it is he likes to do.
[Waves a hand dismissively]